CHANGE - FROM MY PERSPECTIVE

Its been a while, I agree. A lot has changed since my last post in this blog which was ages ago. But, keeping in line with my resolution to start this blog again, i am back. As I was saying, a lot has changed in this period - India got its new PM, world has got its new Football champion, APPLE  has been churning out its i-series and Bollywood has made the 100 Cr club a thing of the past - to name a few. But, this blog is about my life and how it has changed.

I have recently taken my vows and completed the holy rounds with my beautiful wife ( Thanks to everyone wishing me as they go over the previous line), and I have settled in my professional life at NCR. Since my college days I have been staying outside my home town, but never alone. It was always a hostel or a PG where things magically arrived at a specific time and at a specific place. It was as if it was a rule and I grew up with it never bothering to go behind the scenes. Recently, I have shifted to a rented house and have been staying alone for the last three months and it seems a bubble has been burst. It seems I am transported to a different world where I have been EXPERIENCING facets of daily life which I had only SEEN before but never bothered to delve deeper into. Let me explain my findings by giving 3 simple examples.

1] THE CHANGE IN THE SLUMBER TIME CONTINUUM

Its an established fact that i am - or rather was - a nocturnal person. I loved to wake up late into the night enjoying my newly downloaded film or the latest episode from my favorite show. It was not a problem as I had arrived at a wonderful mathematical deduction after months of observation, that I would reach office on time even if I got up at 9 AM ( or 9:15AM the day i didn't shave). It was a full proof deduction worked upon with clockwork accuracy and it was integrated in my genes.It meant that even if I had gone to sleep at 2 AM, I would still enjoy 7 hours solid sleep which was more than enough. Then came the 1st of May!!! I had shifted the previous night and keeping up with my habit, I went to sleep at 1 AM. I suddenly heard a bell ring, but I ignored it because I never had the habit of answering a bell early in the morning - a privilege of living in a PG where there is always someone who wakes up before you. Anyway, suddenly the realization sunk in that it was my bell and I had to answer it. I somehow managed to glance at my watch still half asleep and it indicated it was 6:30 A.M. It was the guy who takes your garbage. Didn't the garbage bins have the unique ability of disposing the garbage themselves?? Didn't they??? No they didn't and there went my sleep along with the garbage. And above all else the time continuum had been disturbed. The variable " TIME OF WAKING UP" had been changed to something I had never seen for the best part of the last decade in my life. Oh,some of you must be thinking why didn't I resume after the garbage had been cleaned?? Well , there comes my second example.

2] THAT UNIQUE SPECIES KNOWN AS "MAIDS" 

Now, don't get me wrong. In this day and age where we barely have time outside of our professional life, maids are the people who have been empowered with taking care of the daily chores of our homes. We have all grown up seeing one of them in our homes daily and their magic brooms at work. But its something like fire. If the right person is found its the ultimate bliss, but if you are not so lucky, life can really take an ugly turn. And as you may have guessed, I am not so lucky. Its been 3 months and I have already employed my 3rd maid during this time. So, after I am finished with dumping my garbage,the bell rings for a second time and there she is . The first lesson I have learnt from them is never to be fooled by their innocent smile as they enter the house. You can never estimate their "SCHEME OF THE DAY" but can only hope its not too evil. She enters and tries to strike a conversation involving the latest gossip from the locality, and when she understands that I am not the least bit interested in it, she gives me a look which surely evaporates the last trace of sleep in my eyes. With Sleep out of the way, its time to monitor the maid with the stealthiness of a private detective. You have to believe me when I say it is an art because if done carelessly, it can hurt the ego of the maid an then it becomes another story. Somehow she finishes all her chores and just before leaving she turns around and suggests , " Bhaiya, you SHOULD buy a washing machine and a mixer grinder . It is helpful " . By the time I react to that and manage to answer " Well, would I need you if I had bought that?" , she had vanished but not before giving her signature smile. It was so much fun to see my room tidy and clean after I  returned from college, but now I know the pains our mothers take in making the maids do their work. As I finally have the house to myself and think maybe I could just sneak in a little power nap as its still 8:30 A.M, a voice inside my head (or is it the stomach??) tells me that I have to make the breakfast and no one would provide it in a platter as I was so happily used to.

3] ALL HAIL THE MASTER CHEF!!!

I am a big foodie and that means I love to eat. I spend my time in front of the idiot box watching TLC or the latest episode of MASTER CHEF on Star World. I know the name of certain ingredients that most normal people have never heard of. So, how hard can it be to cook myself breakfast?? I have lots of time still in hand. But wait!! there is one little problem. I have hardly cooked before in my life. I didn't need to.I know the recipes all right, but  they never showed how to install the GAS cylinder and then light it on. How can I saute the sausages if the stove isn't started?? That leaves me with the eggs and bread. Eggs are eliminated due to the same reason and I thank my stars and to the people who gifted me the Pop-up toaster at my marriage. Pop goes the bread and Pop comes the toast. But how long to toast?? I take my guess and well lets say my plan of a perfect English Breakfast got reduced to half burnt toast with butter and REAL fruit juice. As the months have progressed, I have learned things from various platforms including the internet and things have certainly changed. Did you know that chicken curry can be made thicker by mixing eggs in the curry before taking it off the flame?? Do you know whats the difference between marinating chicken in yoghurt as opposed to vinegar?? I do and so, all hail the new master chef . There is lots to learn but still I am happy with what I have achieved as I can now pop out a perfectly toasted bread and the English Breakfast has certainly been taking a good shape .

So, as cited above I rest my case. Life has certainly changed. Its painful initially and bordering on irritation, but I guess this is called maturity. It is not something which comes at a certain age. Age is only a number, but our acceptance of responsibilities  and the willingness to shoulder them makes us mature. I still swear before disposing the garbage. I still have not perfected the art of bringing the best out of my maid and certainly I am not the perfect cook. But, I am willing to get there. That is what satisfies me. Let me end here as Its already late for dinner and as you may have guessed by now, it can have a real Domino effect !!!!!!!!

SOME MEMORIES

Once upon a time, while traveling with my family,  I was asked  "How old are you"?? by a fellow passenger. Prompt came the reply, " I am 9 years and 10 months old and I would be 10 years in 2 months time". When you're a kid, you count your age in quarters, halves and three-quarters. Because every couple of months matters when you're a kid. Being 10 meant so much to me. Then, of course, after a "certain age"--which may be different for everyone--we not only drop the fractions, we begin to round down.  Rounding up would just be too painful.


We spend our childhood wishing it away.  When we are bigger we can ride roller coasters.  We can reach the glasses in the cupboard without having to drag a chair over or boost ourselves up on the countertop.  We can go shopping on our own. We could sleep alone.


Or, certainly some more important things. Like moving away from the kids section to buy the new trendiest clothes. Allowed to read "The Godfather" without having to sneaking it inside our workbook. Going to college to transform into the ultimate DUDE. Having that 1st PEG of alcoholic beverage. Stay awake as long as we wish listening to LINKING PARK and METALLICA.Watching the 1st X rated video rented from a crappy DVD store.


Growing up has its perks and liberties, not to forget the responsibilities. We get so involved in the process that sometimes we forget the tender and innocent phase of our lives which we left behind. It was such a magical world . So, I have been thinking about the things that I really miss from my childhood I didn't know I would miss so much, and here are the 10 that came at the top of my mind


1] Playing - I still remember how upset I would be if I would sleep late till the evening and miss my cricket match. Of course some days my mom wouldn't allow me to go unless I completed my studies and I would be so angry those days. It felt as if the  Sachin Tendulkar  was deprived of a legendary innings on my very own LORDS.


2]Having  every needs met without asking for it - I never had to worry about the food, sleep, clean bed, clean clothes. Oh what a turnaround it is now. Everyday I think where could I have my next meal or when can I buy the washing machine.


3]The simplicity of communicating - That was the time when if you asked someone "Do you like me??", the only answers could be a straight YES or NO. The only feelings at those times were love or less love. With age we develop the feelings of HATRED, BITTERNESS, LOATH,etc and we develop into complex beings. 


4] Learning new stuffs - The day I learnt the BODMAS method in maths, I felt like a maths genius. Not that I was a great student or a great lover of studies, but to learn new things which I thought never was possible really gave me so much joy. 


5] Being able to say "I am bored, there is nothing to do." and really mean it and go to sleep


6] The Saturday's when the whole family sat down for a game of LUDO or SCRABBLE


7] The wait for the Friday's which would be my weekly off from studies and I would watch a nice film in our VCR (one of those extinct things which i miss very much. It introduced me to the world of films) or devour the newly issued library book


8] Duck Tales, Tails Spin, Alladin, Little Mermaid, GI Joe, Chacha Choudhury, Tinkle


9] The birthday parties and opening of each gift after that and anticipating the contents by the size of the packet


10] Just being a CHILD


This is not a exhaustive list by any mean but this is what I can think of straightaway. Growing up is a duty and we can't escape it. But, once in a while we all hope and wish we could return to those days.............


P.S. - I had my birthday exactly one month ago and I was asked by one of my friends jokingly, "How old are you??" I am really being honest here. It took me some seconds to calculate and then I could answer his query. Such is life!!!!!!!!!!!!

A MYSTERY (OR MAYBE 2)

I am traveling from Bengaluru to New delhi via Rajdhani express. It's a tiring 36 hours journey and made more irritating by the constant supply of food every 1 hour (who wants to have lunch at 11:3o A.M after having soup at 11???). I feel frustrated and reach for my bag to take out the books I have bought along to read on my way. I look at the two books in front of me

1] The last lecture - Randy Pausch

2] Revolution 2020 - (Do I need to mention the writer??)

I decide to start with "The last lecture" and i finish it within 3 hours (even I am surprised by my speed) and I am very touched and motivated by the book and its different philosophies. Its told in a very lucid and simple language by a man who wants to leave his teachings well documented for his children, before he dies (he has cancer......).

Its 7 P.M and its time for the waiter to bring the soup and bread sticks to annoy me for the 2nd time in the day. Anyways, I gulp down the soup and decide to pick up the 2nd book. As I was going through the first few pages of the book, I had a strange sensation. Imagine watchingAmerican Pie after just finishing watching The Bucket List. It was as if I was flying through the pages of the latest Chetan Bhagat caper which had the most UNIQUE story one could imagine. Its a love triangle between a beautiful girl and two boys (one more successful than the other academically), some political drama, corruption, some sex scenes.............now isn't that what you would call niche`?????? I finish the book by midnight while rest of the people around me were deep in their dreamland.

After finishing the book I asked to myself ,"What is it that makes Chetan Bhagat soooooooo famous??"I must admit that even before purchasing the book online, I knew I wasn't going to get the next Godfather or even the next Five point someone. As I was halfway into the book, I could pretty much make out what the other half was about. There were times when I just asked myself “ why did I buy this book”?? But inspite of all these things, I bought the book. I read the book. Finished the book by midnight.

The only thing more mysterious to me than Mr.Chetan Bhagat’s fame is Aamir Khan getting the filmfare for Raja Hindustani. This person has excellent academic qualifications and has studied in the elite colleges of our country. But anyone unknown to these facts can never comprehend this by simply reading his books. Even in some of his interviews and newspaper columns, his views and his writing style baffles me. He writes screenplays rather than literature. It is as if he anticipates that his next book would surely be the next box office blockbuster. If I have to really analyze his reasons of fame as a writer, I find the following points

1] Very easy to understand language

2] Good sense of humor [Declining trend]

3]Connects with college going kids on one aspect or the other

4] Has become a role model for youngsters by the way he quit his job to follow his passion

5] Assures us that we are better than the Americans

These are all the technical aspects that I could think of. But being a MBA in marketing, this would not give all my answers. So suddenly it struck in my head

“He is famous because he SELLS”

Face the facts. You may use the best of language and literature to write a book, but at the end of the day whats the point if it does not reach to the masses. This is where Chetan Bhagat scores. He does not target the literature loving class. Rather, he has converted a whole lot of heavy metal loving, party hopping, Nintendo clutching , Marvel comics loving teenagers into readers of Indian fiction. He has done that by writing things that connects to them at one level or the other. There had been so many writers after him who have tried to copy this success story after that with varying levels of success. He has inspired a whole lot of writers to pen down their own tales and we can see the change in the section of the Indian Writing scenario with our own eyes. Even the publishing houses are understanding the situation and opening their facilities for wannabe writers. Indian writing is no more confined to a handful of writers. Somewhere down the line, a little credit does go to Chetan Bhagat for this change.

Here I am, just bending towards the positive side of a man whose book I didn’t find particularly amusing. But that’s Chetan Bhagat for you. Must give the due credit where he deserves one.I move towards the washroom before I retire to my berth. As I pass the seats and reach the washroom, I see atleast 6 more people heavily engrossed in their copies of Revolution 2020………….I smile to myself. Well, I have seemed to decipher the reason of the author’s success (even a bit). But Raja Hindustani will always remain a mystery as I switch off the lights and say myself Good Night,

LIFE .... IN FOUR PHOTOGRAPHS.......!!!

First Pic

Break of Dawn -- New lease of life, embarking upon a New Voyage......
A Child Flying Kite -- Young Blood, Aspiring to Fly High with Enormous Zest n Zeal...Coz U Know, Sky is The Limit......
A Small Tree -- Need to Nurture.......
Two Birds Hovering Above -- There r People Around to Take Ample Care of You, You r Actually Carefree.......


Second Pic

Daylight -- You r Almost Halfway Through in This Voyage Called Life.....
Couple -- You Have a Better half of Yours to Lean Upon n Speak Your Heart Out to......
Grown-up Tree -- You Have Been Nurtured Profusely to Stand Tall n Rigidly in The Storms That May, Otherwise, Let U Down........ .
A Small Tree -- You, Together With Your Better half, Have Given a New Lease of Life to Another Breaking Dawn (Your Child).........
One Bird Hovering Above -- There r Comparatively Less People around You to Take Care of You, Unlike during Your Wonder Childhood Years.......


Third Pic

Fall of Dusk -- Twilight is setting Upon, Life Has Come a Full Circle....
An Old Man -- It's a Race Against Time Now On, It's The Beginning of The End of The Voyage......
Ageing Tree -- Signifies The Above Two Things, Second One Being The Personification of This........
Grown Tree -- Your Kids Have Grown Up; It's High Time You Start Supporting Them With Tender Care Rather Than Clashes..........
One Bird -- Self Explanatory, I Guess???
Grave -- In Course of The Voyage You Have Lost Loved Ones n You Also Start to Anticipate Your Ultimate Fate n Destiny..........


Fourth Pic

Nightfall -- Voyage is Over, Darkness is Looming Over, High Time to Say Good Bye....
Starry Sky -- There's Still Happiness Around, Thanks to The Aesthetic Memories Left by You n The Good Work Done Too..... .
Grown-up Tree -- Your Kids r Walking in Your Shoes now, It's For Them to Follow Your Footsteps Drawing Inspiration From Your Exemplary Life..
Grave With Two Crosses -- You r United with Your Soul mates n RIPS........

THE BEST FEELING ON EARTH

“I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel”

Maya Angelou

Some years ago someone asked me a question which is very simple but the answer is very confusing if anyone thinks for a moment. He simply asked me “WHAT IS THE BEST FEELING ON EARTH”?? I kept on thinking and came up with some answers but even I was not convinced with them myself. Today I feel like writing something which will in a way answer this simple yet perplexing question.

Firstly, I guess that the answer to this question changes with age. With increase in maturity, the number of feelings that are felt and realized also increases. For a baby, the best feeling would be an assuring warm hug by his mother. For a teenager it can be anything between getting high over 8 pegs of vodka while listening to Pink Floyd or activities which are best to be censored for the readers benefit. Again for someone who is in his middle years, it can be when he gets recognition for the hard work which he has put in at his workplace. Then again as one nears the dawn of his life, the best feeling is one when he sees everyone around his family doing good for himself and he can be proud of what he has achieved in his life.

But the question was asked to me. So let me try to answer it in my way. After much thinking and reasoning I think there are two things which feels the best and nothing on earth can beat them (again I must tell you that these are my personal choices).

Let me come to the first of them. Everyone who is reading this must have had feelings for someone which was hard to express (in some cases it is still to be expressed). But here I would talk about the people who went forward and had the courage to express that feeling and got a positive answer in return. Just try to remember the day and the array of feelings that you felt. Firstly there was the indecision of whether to go ahead or not. And after that when the bullet had been fired, there was the feeling of fear. Then there was anxiety. And then after all this when the answer was the one that you hoped for, this special feeling took over. It was not exactly happiness alone. Nor was it relief all the way. You may say it was love, but that was there all along. The only way to describe the feeling was that it was LOVELY. The feeling lasts only a while and then settles down and you are back to the logical world planning the relation ahead, but those few moments feel out of this world. If anyone asks you at that particular point that how does it feel, your obvious answer would be, “THE BEST FEELING ON EARTH”.

Now coming to the second feeling which is a little abstract. It is not unnatural that we all have a bad day once in a while. Everything feels bad that day and there is this acerbic tongue that takes over. The whole world seems irritating and everyone seems like a foe. But then suddenly out of nowhere your eyes set upon a charming sweet little soul who passes by and gives an innocent smile at you. That smile has no hidden meaning. No sly thought. That soul is pure and innocent. It loves to smile and loves the world. It teaches you that it doesn’t cost a thing to smile. It halves your frustration and doubles your joy. A simple smile brings order to the unruly world around you. It is an innocent smile which has no particular meaning but it removes the bad feelings that were brewing up inside you all the while. To me that feeling of happiness when you see the innocent smile is certainly one of THE BEST FEELINGS ON EARTH.

So these are the two best feelings which I felt in my life and I really think some of you who will be reading this would agree with me. In the meantime just ponder upon this simple question and let me know all of your answers.

MANAGEMENT LESSONS

Each and every story has a message, Each story teaches Us something.Today I am going to share a few story that is shared to me by a friend. We can take these stories as lessons. These are called the management lessons. Here are they........

Lesson Number One

A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?"

The crow answered: "Sure, why not."

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Management Lesson: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Lesson Number Two

A turkey was chatting with a bull.

"I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy. "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients. "The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fortnight, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.

Management Lesson: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.

Lesson Number Three

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold, the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was. The dung was actually thawing him out!

He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard he bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him!

Management Lessons Summary:

1. Not everyone who drops shit on you is your enemy.

2. Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.

3. When you're in deep shit, keep your mouth shut!

Ok here the end of the stories, How are they. Do you like them. Speak Up your Mind...

Image Courtesy : Google Images

LOOKING BACK

Well its the end of 2009 and another year in my life comes to an end.Thought of surfing the different channels in the television and everywhere there was this round up of the year.Sometimes Amitabh Bachhan popped up in the "Rann TV",else there was a countdown of the years biggest moments and the lows.So why should I be left far behind??!!??Let me join the bandwagon and compile a list of the 10 memorable events that happened with me this year.The list is not in any particular order as I will be jotting them down as it comes to my mind.

1. Belling The CAT :- Strictly speaking, this is not exactly an event of 2009 as I had already given the exam on 2008, but the results were due.I had no great expectations from the result.Actually,the result of 83.94%ile surprised me.Then again, there was the thought that if only I had given it more seriously.......(Human nature of non-satiation).

2. Visiting God's Own country:- CAT results were out.WIPRO further deferring the joining date.Sister finshed her board exams.Perfect time for some family outing.And what better place than God's own country.Thanx to dad's LTC, we were off on a wonderful journey.I must say that it has been one of my best tours till date.Right from the lavish hotels to the beautiful scenic beauty of Munnar.The elephant ride in Thekkady to the speed boat in Perriyar.The sunset at Kovvallam beach to the boat ride in backwaters.It was great.

3. Master Of Bad Activity(MBA) :- After wandering aimlessly for over a year, I finally decided to pursue the MBA at IISWBM.Maybe it was an escapist point of thought but that seemed the most wise decision at that time.Sometimes during my economics class I still wonder if I have made the right decision.......But the bullet has been fired and the aim now must be the bulls eye.

4. Attending the concert of Mozart of Mumbai :- Yes thats right.I had the privilege of attending the JAI HO concert of A.R.Rehman this November.I decided to attend the concert right from the day the posters came out.And it was not a bad decision.Not only the wizard but his whole troupe created magic and it was an experience of a lifetime.

5. Heartache at Hyderabad :- So near yet so far.I am talking about the India Vs Australia ODI match this year.It's only a match but it finds a mention in my list due to the impact of a certain Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar on that match.I am one of his most devoted fans and the look in his face when he came to collect his man of the match award really made me sad.Scoring 175 runs and almost single handedly taking your team to victory only to be denied by 3 runs.That is tragic.

6. Emotional Quotient :- Emotionally, this year has been a mixed bag.It had its highs and some lows obviously. The year began with a thought about my future.What would I be doing with my life?? Somehow that settled down.Safe for two years.Personally, there were some days when I was absolutely disgusted with myself.But somehow I have this unique knack to be optimistic about eveything (sometimes hopelessly optimistic).There was a period when nothing was going right, but its almost OK now.And thats good too learn.Hope to remain my cheerful self and take life at my stride.

7. The cool gang :- Life at a new institution can be boring at the start.But I was lucky to form a small group of very good friends as soon as I joined IISWBM. We are 8 of us and everyone is unique in his/her own way.I really enjoy my time with them in college which makes the long 2 hrs lecture bearable.Its becoz of them that MBA seems like B.Tech.Last but not the least, they bring good tiffin from their house which I really enjoy.

8. BAMBI (Someone will surely understand)

9. Films And Books :- I am a big time movie addict and watched many movies this year.But sadly, few of the many bollywood movies left an impression in my mind.It was great watching 3 Idiots at the end of the year.apart from that it was a pretty ordinary year. Among the hollywood releases this year, AVATAR stole the show.There were a few other good movies as well.Coming to books, I read quite a few books this year which is good. To sir with love and Moth Smoke were good followed by Thousand splendid suns and The reluctant fundamentalist.Hope to read a few more soon.And the worst book which I read this year surely is P.S.I Love You.

10. Best for Last :- I met someone on 2008 and that person became very close to me around September 2008.But as this year comes to an end, I can proudly say that she has become more close to me.The binding force is stronger and it is not becoz we had a ball this year.quiet on the contrary. There were many rough patches this year and it really felt suffocating to lead those days.But when I see that she is still there with a ready smile for me and waits for me as eagerly as she did an year ago,I can strongly say that yes we have grown in our relationship and there are many many happy days ahead.

so these were some of the incidents and events that I distinctly remember.Hope to post soon again.

HR PROCESS

One day while walking down the street a highly successful Human Resources Manager was tragically hit by a bus and she died. Her soul arrived up in heaven where she was met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter himself.

"Welcome to Heaven," said St. Peter. "Before you get settled in though, it seems we have a problem. You see, strangely enough, we've never once had a Human Resources Manager make it this far and we're not really sure what to do with you."

"No problem, just let me in," said the woman.

"Well, I'd like to, but I have higher orders. What we're going to do is let you have a day in Hell and a day in Heaven and then you can choose whichever one you want to spend an eternity in."

"Actually, I think I've made up my mind, I prefer to stay in Heaven", said the woman

"Sorry, we have rules..."

And with that St. Peter put the executive in an elevator and it went down-down-down to hell.

The doors opened and she found herself stepping out onto the putting green of a beautiful golf course. In the distance was a country club and standing in front of her were all her friends - fellow executives that she had worked with and they were well dressed in evening owns and cheering for her. They ran up and kissed her on both cheeks and they talked about old times. They played an excellent round of golf and at night went to the country club where she enjoyed an excellent steak and lobster dinner.

She met the Devil who was actually a really nice guy (kind of cute) and she had a great time telling jokes and dancing. She was having such a good time that before she knew it, it was time to leave. Everybody shook her hand and waved goodbye as she got on the elevator.

The elevator went up-up-up and opened back up at the Pearly Gates and found St. Peter waiting for her.

"Now it's time to spend a day in heaven," he said. So she spent the next 24 hours lounging around on clouds and playing the harp and singing. She had great time and before she knew it her 24 hours were up and St. Peter came and got her.

"So, you've spent a day in hell and you've spent a day in heaven. Now you must choose your eternity,"

The woman paused for a second and then replied, "Well, I never thought I'd say this, I mean, Heaven has been really great and all, but I think I had a better time in Hell."

So St. Peter escorted her to the elevator and again she went down-down-down back to Hell.

When the doors of the elevator opened she found herself standing in a desolate wasteland covered in garbage and filth. She saw her friends were dressed in rags and were picking up the garbage and putting it in sacks.

The Devil came up to her and put his arm around her.

"I don't understand," stammered the woman, "yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and a country club and we ate lobster and we danced and had a great time. Now all there is a wasteland of garbage and all my friends look miserable."

The Devil looked at her smiled and told...

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Yesterday we were recruiting you, Today you are an employee.

SOME REAL FUNNY DEFINITIONS

ADULT: 

A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.

BEAUTY PARLOR: 
A place where women curl up and dye.

CANNIBAL: 
Someone who is fed up with people.

CHICKENS: 
The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.

COMMITTEE:

A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.

DUST: 
Mud with the juice squeezed out.

EGOTIST: 
Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.

HANDKERCHIEF: 
Cold Storage.

INFLATION: 
Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.

MOSQUITO:
An insect that makes you like flies better.

RAISIN: 
Grape with a sunburn.

SECRET: 
Something you tell to one person at a time.

SKELETON: 
A bunch of bones with the person scraped off..

TOOTHACHE:

The pain that drives you to extraction.

TOMORROW: 
One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.

YAWN:  
An honest opinion openly expressed.

WRINKLES: 
Something other people have, similar to my character lines

A LINGERING QUESTION

I still remember that I was in class 2 and we were given an essay to write.The topic was something like this:

"Imagine that you have suddenly been transported to sometime in the future.Write Your account of things you see"

As with any child, these topics where you can just free your thoughts and imaginations,really excited me.So i started writing and I transported myself to 2050(And no it was not a love story).among the many things that i wrote,there were some features which i would like to bring up now:

1]People were wearing a strange device in their ears and were communicating with other people whom i could not see.

2]They just touched a screen and could see their favorite movies or songs.

3]They no longer were reading newspapers but the same touch screen provided them with news from round the world.

Well its not 2050 and all this is a reality now.The first point refers to the blue tooth headset.The second one is one of the many features of an I-Phone and the third one is the use of any mobile with a gps connection.I was such a fool it may seem as so many other features are added to the phone every minute.Some,which we dont even understand or need(PTT).

There can be different perspectives on this.I agree we have had a tremendous technological advancement which is a good thing.But on the other hand this is a solid case where we are giving in to these technological marvels.I am an avid cell phone user,but one question really lingers in my mind.

Why do we feel so insecure without the cell phone??

I have no answer to that but that is a state we have reached ourselves.Are we to be blamed?? I guess so, but did we know when the transition took place???

PERPLEXED EMOTION

Love is a feeling.. just like any other feeling...then why is everyone so enamoured by love? What is it that makes love different from other feelings, and special too??

Every feeling finds a logical conclusion in an action.

Anger... the logical conclusion is hitting out..

Hate.....causing hurt.

Sadness.....crying.

Happiness....laughing.

Lust......sex

fear.......running away..

What now is the logical conclusion of LOVE???

There is none. People believe it to be marriage.. but that is'nt so. Marriage is not the logical conclusion of love, in fact many a times marriage fosters love.

Others think its sex.. but really, there is nt even a remote correlation of love and sex. lust and sex yes.. definitely not love.

Is this then, what makes love different then from other feelings? Because Love is so inconclusive...that once in love one remains in limbo forever..and even years later..the feeling still remains in your subconscious, giving you that special sweet twinge of pain every once in a while.. reminding you of its presence.

RESOLUTIONS

So its the start of a new year.As I switched on my computer and logged in ORKUT on the 1st of January,my scrapbook was filled with greetings and a common query.

Hey wats your New Year RESOLUTION?????

I guess everyone by now knows wat a new year resolution means.For those who still have some doubt,let me put two definitions  for them.

1. The WIKIPEDIA definition:

 A New Year's resolution is a commitment that an individual makes to a project or the reforming of a habit, often a lifestyle change that is generally interpreted as advantageous.

2. MY definition:

 It is a set of impossible goals that an individual sets himself at the start of the new year which slowly fades away and is finally abandoned (Generally).

People start the new year thinking of all that happened to them last year.They enjoy the good moments but laments some of the issues which they could have dealt with better.They decide to learn from their mistakes.And thus they make some resolutions.They give themselves ample time(365 days) and hope to get out of some of their miseries.But alas ! By the middle of the year,they realize that it is too tough for them and they are fine with the little glitches in life.

I have always come across hundreds of people who tell me their New Year resolution at the start of the year.But oddly enough, I have never met a single of them at the end of the year telling me that they have fulfilled their resolution(Have you????).Instead they make new ones next year.Funny,isnt it??

A survey tells us that while 52% of participants in a resolution study were confident of success,only 12% achieved them.I would consider myself extremely lucky if I come across one of them.Still we make resolutions and continue to do so.But why???

The answer is simple.We love to chase dreams and illusions and when once in a while someone succeeds, its the ultimate glory.To do the improbable is always challenging.The reason is same as the reason why we never give up finding life on Mars,finding evidence of ghosts or trying to build a time machine . These things lure us and we always chase them,hoping that someday we achieve them.

Lastly I have only one thing to say to all the people who will make resolutions this new year.This is a quote from a 20th century new year resolution postcard:

                                    Resolve to renew all your old resolves,

                                    And add a few that are new.

                                    Resolve to keep them as long as you can,

                                    What more can a poor man do.

Ohhhhh!!!!And if you are wondering what are my new year resolutions,here it goes:

1. Loose weight.

2. Be more active.

Anyone who knows me will surely tell you all that i am abiding by my definition of RESOLUTIONS.

10 THINGS I WISH TO DO BEFORE TURNING 30

I came across this topic which was tagged to anyone who reads it.Seemed interesting and thought to go ahead with it to break a long phase of non- blogging i have been going through.Let me straight away go ahead with the list.

THE LIST:

1. Visit Egypt (I am just mystified by the place.Always fascinated by the place)

2. Meet Sachin Tendulkar (Childhood Idol)

3. Learn to cook (Guess It will Be a lot sooner than that)

4. Bungee jump (Off course without letting my parents let know of it)

5. Make a library which others will envy and i will be proud of possesing(Both movies and Books)

6. Learn atleast 2 foreign  languages (Apart from all the computer ones off course)

7. Learn to play the guitar (Atleast a few tunes)

8. To bring a smile to a terminally ill person (Not tht i wanna see anyone be that ill)

9. Have a tequilla  shot (Maybe on my birthday)

10. To fulfill atleast 3 of the above wishes.

So this is my list of wishes which i wish to fulfil before my 30th birthday.Let me keep my fingers crossed.

P.S : Tagged to everyone who reads this.

MIRROR

How many times have it happened to you that you are stuck to make a decision about something??You have some options for a certain problem and you weigh them out , but still feel unsure about which one to act upon!! People face this kind of situations everyday in their lives.While in some cases you may go ahead with either of ur options, there are times when a correct decision is absolutely essential as it may be a life altering decision.

  

In such cases what we really do is we go for the option which we FEEL like going for , rather than acting upon the choice which SHOULD be made(just think for a while and be honest with yourself).But there is a solution for this dilema which we so often face.As famous american writer Richard Bach puts it, "when looking for faults, look into a mirror rather than a telescope".

Sounds confusing,doesnt it?? Let me make it a little more clear.Stand in front of the mirror and ask yourself if the choice you are about to make is the right one or not??believe me folks you will get the answer if you are honest with yourself.Though its only the reflection of your own which you may see,in reality its a personification of your inner consciousness.If you cant face your own conscious with the choice you are about to make,how could you expect it to work for your betterment???Happiness is looking in the mirror and to like what we see.A simple thing like a mirror easily classifies the LIKE TO DO options from the HAVE TO DO options.Its high time that all of us start taking the right decisions in life and be happy.The mirror is always there to help us out.

LOVE VS PAMPER

Is it true that one of the greatest needs is to feel loved? Seems so, but
it's not true!

'The need to be pampered', rather than 'the need to be loved', seems to be
the greatest craving. Is there a difference? When you want others to love
you (only) the way you want to be loved, it is pampering. To a lot of
people, being loved means their loved ones should always be soft on them,
always agree with what they say, never complain or criticize, never push
them beyond their comfort zones. basically leave them as they are, accept
them as they are and not show any signs of wanting to change them. But love
is not love that pampers. Love is love that makes a difference. Pampering
will weaken you. Love will create you.

After all, no man is perfect. There is endless scope to better ourselves.
Except those who love you, no one else cares about whether you improve or
not. In the name of tolerance, pampering will leave you with your
imperfections. Even at the cost of hurting your ego, love will give you
feedbacks to make a difference to you. Pampering works with your ego. Love
works on you

No man can always be right. In the name of acceptance, pampering will make
what's not okay look okay. Love will act as a mirror and reflect you to you
- not as you want to be seen, but as you truly are. The world will punish
you for your wrong; love will endure your wrong and work on making you
right. Only those who love you will tell you that there is gunk on your
nose; the rest will make a joke out of you. Pampering is a mere façade,
wanting to appear nice. One of the most honest ex-pressions of love is the
courage to take the risk of being mistaken and yet being a constructive
critic.

The motivation levels of most people are low. You need someone or something
outside of you to push you. Pampering will sinfully leave you in your
low performing, comfort zone. Love will even dare to risk the friendship to
create the friend. To demand - 'Give more of you to life', is an intense
ex-pression of love. You cannot be left as you are. That which does not
change does not grow and that which does not grow, dies. The call to awaken
one from his slumber is pure, classic love.

Pampering is like boozing. It gives you a joyful evening but nothing about
you may change. Love is like meditation. It may seem that nothing is
happening and yet everything about you will change. Crave to be loved and to
be created, and not to be pampered and get stagnated.

silence

Great truth that transcends Nature does not pass from one
being to another by way of human speech. Truth chooses silence to convey her meaning to loving souls.
-Kahlil Gibran
These words of wisdom apply to each one of us in the same way irrespective of our gender, social status, region or religion.

The moment when you wanted to convey your inner-most feelings to the love of your life, you search for words that would best describe your emotions. Your throat suddenly becomes dry and you are not in a position to utter a single
word! That is the time when silence holds your hands and leads you to your goal. All you have to do is to look into the eyes of your loved one with all your honesty..... they would know exactly how you feel! A moment of silence can manifest a thousand words!

All of you who"ve had some unforgettable sweet memories, try to recollect the most magical moments of your life.....I"m sure they are the times when you spoke nothing and your eyes and your ex-pressions did all the talking (Of course exceptions are always there :-)).

So, as the popular song of Ronan Keating goes....

"You say it best when you say nothing at all"

Dont turn love into relationship

Love comes like a strong breeze and carries away two lovers to unknown dimensions. Lovers go through an experience peak and then need to settle down. In the process, they start feeling bored, craving the same peak yet again and again. When they don"t reach it, they feel frustrated and fall into the ditch of misery.

Peaks in love are experienced when lovers open their wings to fly high into the sky together. There"s a whole sky of freedom and togetherness that they feel in each other"s company. But the moment they start clinging to each other and suppress freedom, love falls into an abysmal valley of misery. Then they wonder what happened to their love! The clinging starts clipping their wings, killing their love.

True love is unconditional, and based on an individual"s freedom. Two persons can be very loving together. The more loving they are, the lower the possibility of any relationship. The more loving they are, the greater the freedom between them. The more loving they are, the thinner the prospect of any demand, domination, expectation. Naturally then, there is no question of frustration.

Remember this: Don"t have any expectations. Love because love is your own inner growth. When you love, you call your spring of growth closer. Your love will help you grow towards more light, more truth, more freedom. Love but don"t ever create a relationship!

A relationship is a part of the business world. A slight change in the situation, and it evaporates. It has no solidity. If love comes spontaneously, suddenly, like a fountain, asking for nothing in return, then it is one of the greatest treasures. Love is a fire. The purer it is, the better it burns all riddles, all problems. But love as a relationship creates problems, riddled with all sorts of undesirable things.

Remember this: Love is capable of destroying everything else, just don"t let it become a relationship. If you do, love will disappear and in its place will come politics and manipulation. Then, your problems will only increase.

Osho says: "I am against all kinds of relationships. For example, I don"t like the word "friendship" but I love the word "friendliness". Friendliness is a quality within you; friendship becomes a burdensome relationship."

Osho elaborates: "Friendship is a relationship. You can be in that relationship with a few people. Friendliness is a quality, not a relationship. It has nothing to do with anybody else. It is basically your inner quality. You can be friendly with many, many people. You can be friendly even when you are alone. You cannot be in friendship when you are alone-the other is needed-but friendliness is a kind of fragrance. A flower blooms; nobody passes by, yet it is fragrant. It matters not whether anyone comes to know of it; being fragrant is its quality."

SOFTWARE ENGINEER

It was raining heavily outside. Dark clouds gathered in the sky and nature was in its ominous best. I took a break from my work and went to the pantry to grab a cup of coffee. I had a sip and went near the window to see the rain pouring down heavily outside the glass structure. I was inside our huge office building, unruffled by even the fierceness of the nature.

Through the heavy transparent glass, I could see a small girl trying to hold on to her umbrella which the wind was snatching away from her. I felt sorry for the girl, and was happy that I was not in a similar pathetic situation. Yes. I take pride for the fact that I am a software engineer.

I have everything which a common man would envy; money, status, respect, you name it I have it. I always wanted to be software professional and here I am, working for one of the best firms in the world. But then, am I really happy? Now, I could see an imprint of my palm on the other glass window, through which I reminisced my past, basked in the warmth of the sun shine.

My childhood was so much of fun. I vividly remember those rainy days, when I hugged my mother tightly during sleeping listening to all the stories told by her. Now, I have a big house here, but then it is just a house, not a home. My parents are pretty far away from me now. I have a cell phone to talk to them everyday, but then I really miss those dinners which I had with my family everyday. I could easily afford to taste all the different cuisines these days, but the best of food there, lack the love and affection which is present in the food prepared by my mother.

I threw a lavish party for my colleagues for my birthday, but then they would never replace the birthdays when my friends secretly brought a cake and at the end, half of the cake would have ended up on my face. The couple of hundred bucks that u save for a long period just to give a treat to your friends in the road side chat shop can never give the pleasure even after spending a few thousand bucks these days.

The scene of me crying and refusing to have dinner on the day when I fought with my best friend came to my mind. Today, he has gone far away from me, taking away my friendship and with it my life, but I am sitting and coding here with a false smile on my face. Everyday I meet new people, but then I long ceased to make a new friend.

It's true that I have a lot of things now. I have a nice bed, but no time to sleep. Lots of money, but no friends to spend it with. The latest designer clothes, but a worn out body . Awards for technical excellence, but no reward for the crave for peaceful ambience. A confident demeanor, but a reluctant and apathetic mind. Full of rain, but no sunshine even in the farthest distance.

Now, I could see the small girl on the road enjoying in the rain with her umbrella firmly in her grip. She might not have all the comforts which I have, but then she has the innocence and fun which I lost a long time back.

I have decided to come out of this false fantasy, even if it is at the expense of losing the tap of the software engineer. I am going to again enjoy my life. I am going to go out in the rain and play with the small kid now. I removed my tie, and went near my computer to shut it down. Just then, I saw a new mail alert in my mail box. I slowly opened outlook and I found a message from my manager with an attachment saying that there was a critical defect in the code and I have to fix it soon. I convinced myself that I am not going to get bogged down again by these pressures and stick to my decision. I ignored the mail and went to the rest room. After a couple of minutes, the software engineer in me came out, his shirt tucked in with the perfect tie knot, sat before the computer, and started typing,

DONT HESITATE

Life is journey of millennia, which knows no destination, except mystery. There"s awesome silence soaring deep down until one fine day some of us realize that we are getting attracted to some beautiful stranger. And all our saved up wishes starts coming out. Our eyes looks brighter in the presence of that beautiful stranger.

We have decided that we want to spend the rest of our life with them and not knowing whether they would be spending it with us or not.

So every one of us are not lucky every time. But we should appreciate the feelings of the other person even we cant reciprocate to them in the similar manner.

"Gravity is not responsible of people to fall in love.. it just happens" and when it does happen don"t wait for the right time to express.. because right time is when your heart beats faster.. If you love someone don"t wait for tomorrow.. or for the other person to make the move..agreed "tomorrow never dies".. but also remember.. "tomorrow never comes . . . "

FOR ALL U LATERAL THINKERS

Been a long time after my last post so i just thought to oblige this blog and come up with my new entry.Now i am a guy who likes to know abt as many things as possible under the sun as possible and thus i have many hobbies and many interests.so today i am going to post something related to my very old passion or rather my pastime-puzzles related to. lateral thinking.So for all of u out there who share the same interest as mine may try to try their luck and try to answer these 10 questions.For everyone i leave my orkut id and my email id to answer.I will post answers after a week.


orkut id-http://www.orkut.com/Profile.aspx?uid=7753017432170502880

email-id-coolestme@gmail.com



the questions are as follows:-



1]A man & his family lay out blankets & lie down, watching the sky for hours, even though explosions can be heard nearby. Why?

2]A woman steps to the edge of a very high building, & as people look on, she leaps off, & falls several stories. The woman is not injured. Why?

3] A boy enters a room that is filled with adults. He is told by a man that the court has found that his parents have neglected & abused him, & he will be placed in foster care. However, the boy sleeps in the same house with his parents that night & several nights after that. No further mention is made of his move to foster care. Why?


4]Spike, an adult, brings the paper to Mr. Hopkins every day. Spike is never paid for this. Why does he do this?


5]Once upon a time, there was a high profile detective and his assistant. There came a news of a professor`s murder. The detective send his assistant to do the initial investigation. The assistant came back and presented the following facts.
The assistant reported "When i went there the door was locked inside. I broke the door. When i entered in the house I saw the professor sitting on a chair with his head upon the study desk. The table lamp was on. The ceiling fan was also on. All the windows were closed. The book professor was reading was 'Gauge Fields and Strings by Polyakov' and its 15-16 page no were open. The glass on professor`s table was half empty. There was pencil in professor`s hand. By doing initial inspection there was no physical injury on professor`s body. There was no sign of theft or robbery.
suddenly the chief detective stopped him and said he was lying. Can you guess how the detective came to know that the assistant was lying?



6]Ram ne Sita se shaadi ki,
Ravan ne Sita ka apaharan kiya,
Hanuman ne Sita ko bachaya,
Batao, Vastav mein hero kaun hai?


7]This girl was reading a novel(a suspense thriller) at 12 midnight in her room.Suddenly the power went off and darkess prevailed.But still she continued to read what she had been reading....How?


8]Imagine u are in the middle of an ocean in a boat surrounded by sharks all around.how can u be saved?


9]which came 1st-egg or chicken(blv me i have the answer.and give rsns also)???


10]what are the two things u cant eat at breakfast????




NOTE:-this is lateral thinking.so the answers may not always be to ur liking.Think differently and come up with ur answers.

PRIZE:-anyone getting all 10 correct will get a cadbury temptation from me.So have a go at it u all .