HR PROCESS

One day while walking down the street a highly successful Human Resources Manager was tragically hit by a bus and she died. Her soul arrived up in heaven where she was met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter himself.

"Welcome to Heaven," said St. Peter. "Before you get settled in though, it seems we have a problem. You see, strangely enough, we've never once had a Human Resources Manager make it this far and we're not really sure what to do with you."

"No problem, just let me in," said the woman.

"Well, I'd like to, but I have higher orders. What we're going to do is let you have a day in Hell and a day in Heaven and then you can choose whichever one you want to spend an eternity in."

"Actually, I think I've made up my mind, I prefer to stay in Heaven", said the woman

"Sorry, we have rules..."

And with that St. Peter put the executive in an elevator and it went down-down-down to hell.

The doors opened and she found herself stepping out onto the putting green of a beautiful golf course. In the distance was a country club and standing in front of her were all her friends - fellow executives that she had worked with and they were well dressed in evening owns and cheering for her. They ran up and kissed her on both cheeks and they talked about old times. They played an excellent round of golf and at night went to the country club where she enjoyed an excellent steak and lobster dinner.

She met the Devil who was actually a really nice guy (kind of cute) and she had a great time telling jokes and dancing. She was having such a good time that before she knew it, it was time to leave. Everybody shook her hand and waved goodbye as she got on the elevator.

The elevator went up-up-up and opened back up at the Pearly Gates and found St. Peter waiting for her.

"Now it's time to spend a day in heaven," he said. So she spent the next 24 hours lounging around on clouds and playing the harp and singing. She had great time and before she knew it her 24 hours were up and St. Peter came and got her.

"So, you've spent a day in hell and you've spent a day in heaven. Now you must choose your eternity,"

The woman paused for a second and then replied, "Well, I never thought I'd say this, I mean, Heaven has been really great and all, but I think I had a better time in Hell."

So St. Peter escorted her to the elevator and again she went down-down-down back to Hell.

When the doors of the elevator opened she found herself standing in a desolate wasteland covered in garbage and filth. She saw her friends were dressed in rags and were picking up the garbage and putting it in sacks.

The Devil came up to her and put his arm around her.

"I don't understand," stammered the woman, "yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and a country club and we ate lobster and we danced and had a great time. Now all there is a wasteland of garbage and all my friends look miserable."

The Devil looked at her smiled and told...

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Yesterday we were recruiting you, Today you are an employee.

SOME REAL FUNNY DEFINITIONS

ADULT: 

A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.

BEAUTY PARLOR: 
A place where women curl up and dye.

CANNIBAL: 
Someone who is fed up with people.

CHICKENS: 
The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.

COMMITTEE:

A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.

DUST: 
Mud with the juice squeezed out.

EGOTIST: 
Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.

HANDKERCHIEF: 
Cold Storage.

INFLATION: 
Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.

MOSQUITO:
An insect that makes you like flies better.

RAISIN: 
Grape with a sunburn.

SECRET: 
Something you tell to one person at a time.

SKELETON: 
A bunch of bones with the person scraped off..

TOOTHACHE:

The pain that drives you to extraction.

TOMORROW: 
One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.

YAWN:  
An honest opinion openly expressed.

WRINKLES: 
Something other people have, similar to my character lines

A LINGERING QUESTION

I still remember that I was in class 2 and we were given an essay to write.The topic was something like this:

"Imagine that you have suddenly been transported to sometime in the future.Write Your account of things you see"

As with any child, these topics where you can just free your thoughts and imaginations,really excited me.So i started writing and I transported myself to 2050(And no it was not a love story).among the many things that i wrote,there were some features which i would like to bring up now:

1]People were wearing a strange device in their ears and were communicating with other people whom i could not see.

2]They just touched a screen and could see their favorite movies or songs.

3]They no longer were reading newspapers but the same touch screen provided them with news from round the world.

Well its not 2050 and all this is a reality now.The first point refers to the blue tooth headset.The second one is one of the many features of an I-Phone and the third one is the use of any mobile with a gps connection.I was such a fool it may seem as so many other features are added to the phone every minute.Some,which we dont even understand or need(PTT).

There can be different perspectives on this.I agree we have had a tremendous technological advancement which is a good thing.But on the other hand this is a solid case where we are giving in to these technological marvels.I am an avid cell phone user,but one question really lingers in my mind.

Why do we feel so insecure without the cell phone??

I have no answer to that but that is a state we have reached ourselves.Are we to be blamed?? I guess so, but did we know when the transition took place???

PERPLEXED EMOTION

Love is a feeling.. just like any other feeling...then why is everyone so enamoured by love? What is it that makes love different from other feelings, and special too??

Every feeling finds a logical conclusion in an action.

Anger... the logical conclusion is hitting out..

Hate.....causing hurt.

Sadness.....crying.

Happiness....laughing.

Lust......sex

fear.......running away..

What now is the logical conclusion of LOVE???

There is none. People believe it to be marriage.. but that is'nt so. Marriage is not the logical conclusion of love, in fact many a times marriage fosters love.

Others think its sex.. but really, there is nt even a remote correlation of love and sex. lust and sex yes.. definitely not love.

Is this then, what makes love different then from other feelings? Because Love is so inconclusive...that once in love one remains in limbo forever..and even years later..the feeling still remains in your subconscious, giving you that special sweet twinge of pain every once in a while.. reminding you of its presence.

RESOLUTIONS

So its the start of a new year.As I switched on my computer and logged in ORKUT on the 1st of January,my scrapbook was filled with greetings and a common query.

Hey wats your New Year RESOLUTION?????

I guess everyone by now knows wat a new year resolution means.For those who still have some doubt,let me put two definitions  for them.

1. The WIKIPEDIA definition:

 A New Year's resolution is a commitment that an individual makes to a project or the reforming of a habit, often a lifestyle change that is generally interpreted as advantageous.

2. MY definition:

 It is a set of impossible goals that an individual sets himself at the start of the new year which slowly fades away and is finally abandoned (Generally).

People start the new year thinking of all that happened to them last year.They enjoy the good moments but laments some of the issues which they could have dealt with better.They decide to learn from their mistakes.And thus they make some resolutions.They give themselves ample time(365 days) and hope to get out of some of their miseries.But alas ! By the middle of the year,they realize that it is too tough for them and they are fine with the little glitches in life.

I have always come across hundreds of people who tell me their New Year resolution at the start of the year.But oddly enough, I have never met a single of them at the end of the year telling me that they have fulfilled their resolution(Have you????).Instead they make new ones next year.Funny,isnt it??

A survey tells us that while 52% of participants in a resolution study were confident of success,only 12% achieved them.I would consider myself extremely lucky if I come across one of them.Still we make resolutions and continue to do so.But why???

The answer is simple.We love to chase dreams and illusions and when once in a while someone succeeds, its the ultimate glory.To do the improbable is always challenging.The reason is same as the reason why we never give up finding life on Mars,finding evidence of ghosts or trying to build a time machine . These things lure us and we always chase them,hoping that someday we achieve them.

Lastly I have only one thing to say to all the people who will make resolutions this new year.This is a quote from a 20th century new year resolution postcard:

                                    Resolve to renew all your old resolves,

                                    And add a few that are new.

                                    Resolve to keep them as long as you can,

                                    What more can a poor man do.

Ohhhhh!!!!And if you are wondering what are my new year resolutions,here it goes:

1. Loose weight.

2. Be more active.

Anyone who knows me will surely tell you all that i am abiding by my definition of RESOLUTIONS.

10 THINGS I WISH TO DO BEFORE TURNING 30

I came across this topic which was tagged to anyone who reads it.Seemed interesting and thought to go ahead with it to break a long phase of non- blogging i have been going through.Let me straight away go ahead with the list.

THE LIST:

1. Visit Egypt (I am just mystified by the place.Always fascinated by the place)

2. Meet Sachin Tendulkar (Childhood Idol)

3. Learn to cook (Guess It will Be a lot sooner than that)

4. Bungee jump (Off course without letting my parents let know of it)

5. Make a library which others will envy and i will be proud of possesing(Both movies and Books)

6. Learn atleast 2 foreign  languages (Apart from all the computer ones off course)

7. Learn to play the guitar (Atleast a few tunes)

8. To bring a smile to a terminally ill person (Not tht i wanna see anyone be that ill)

9. Have a tequilla  shot (Maybe on my birthday)

10. To fulfill atleast 3 of the above wishes.

So this is my list of wishes which i wish to fulfil before my 30th birthday.Let me keep my fingers crossed.

P.S : Tagged to everyone who reads this.

MIRROR

How many times have it happened to you that you are stuck to make a decision about something??You have some options for a certain problem and you weigh them out , but still feel unsure about which one to act upon!! People face this kind of situations everyday in their lives.While in some cases you may go ahead with either of ur options, there are times when a correct decision is absolutely essential as it may be a life altering decision.

  

In such cases what we really do is we go for the option which we FEEL like going for , rather than acting upon the choice which SHOULD be made(just think for a while and be honest with yourself).But there is a solution for this dilema which we so often face.As famous american writer Richard Bach puts it, "when looking for faults, look into a mirror rather than a telescope".

Sounds confusing,doesnt it?? Let me make it a little more clear.Stand in front of the mirror and ask yourself if the choice you are about to make is the right one or not??believe me folks you will get the answer if you are honest with yourself.Though its only the reflection of your own which you may see,in reality its a personification of your inner consciousness.If you cant face your own conscious with the choice you are about to make,how could you expect it to work for your betterment???Happiness is looking in the mirror and to like what we see.A simple thing like a mirror easily classifies the LIKE TO DO options from the HAVE TO DO options.Its high time that all of us start taking the right decisions in life and be happy.The mirror is always there to help us out.