MANAGEMENT LESSONS

Each and every story has a message, Each story teaches Us something.Today I am going to share a few story that is shared to me by a friend. We can take these stories as lessons. These are called the management lessons. Here are they........

Lesson Number One

A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?"

The crow answered: "Sure, why not."

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Management Lesson: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Lesson Number Two

A turkey was chatting with a bull.

"I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy. "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients. "The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fortnight, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.

Management Lesson: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.

Lesson Number Three

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold, the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was. The dung was actually thawing him out!

He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard he bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him!

Management Lessons Summary:

1. Not everyone who drops shit on you is your enemy.

2. Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.

3. When you're in deep shit, keep your mouth shut!

Ok here the end of the stories, How are they. Do you like them. Speak Up your Mind...

Image Courtesy : Google Images

LOOKING BACK

Well its the end of 2009 and another year in my life comes to an end.Thought of surfing the different channels in the television and everywhere there was this round up of the year.Sometimes Amitabh Bachhan popped up in the "Rann TV",else there was a countdown of the years biggest moments and the lows.So why should I be left far behind??!!??Let me join the bandwagon and compile a list of the 10 memorable events that happened with me this year.The list is not in any particular order as I will be jotting them down as it comes to my mind.

1. Belling The CAT :- Strictly speaking, this is not exactly an event of 2009 as I had already given the exam on 2008, but the results were due.I had no great expectations from the result.Actually,the result of 83.94%ile surprised me.Then again, there was the thought that if only I had given it more seriously.......(Human nature of non-satiation).

2. Visiting God's Own country:- CAT results were out.WIPRO further deferring the joining date.Sister finshed her board exams.Perfect time for some family outing.And what better place than God's own country.Thanx to dad's LTC, we were off on a wonderful journey.I must say that it has been one of my best tours till date.Right from the lavish hotels to the beautiful scenic beauty of Munnar.The elephant ride in Thekkady to the speed boat in Perriyar.The sunset at Kovvallam beach to the boat ride in backwaters.It was great.

3. Master Of Bad Activity(MBA) :- After wandering aimlessly for over a year, I finally decided to pursue the MBA at IISWBM.Maybe it was an escapist point of thought but that seemed the most wise decision at that time.Sometimes during my economics class I still wonder if I have made the right decision.......But the bullet has been fired and the aim now must be the bulls eye.

4. Attending the concert of Mozart of Mumbai :- Yes thats right.I had the privilege of attending the JAI HO concert of A.R.Rehman this November.I decided to attend the concert right from the day the posters came out.And it was not a bad decision.Not only the wizard but his whole troupe created magic and it was an experience of a lifetime.

5. Heartache at Hyderabad :- So near yet so far.I am talking about the India Vs Australia ODI match this year.It's only a match but it finds a mention in my list due to the impact of a certain Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar on that match.I am one of his most devoted fans and the look in his face when he came to collect his man of the match award really made me sad.Scoring 175 runs and almost single handedly taking your team to victory only to be denied by 3 runs.That is tragic.

6. Emotional Quotient :- Emotionally, this year has been a mixed bag.It had its highs and some lows obviously. The year began with a thought about my future.What would I be doing with my life?? Somehow that settled down.Safe for two years.Personally, there were some days when I was absolutely disgusted with myself.But somehow I have this unique knack to be optimistic about eveything (sometimes hopelessly optimistic).There was a period when nothing was going right, but its almost OK now.And thats good too learn.Hope to remain my cheerful self and take life at my stride.

7. The cool gang :- Life at a new institution can be boring at the start.But I was lucky to form a small group of very good friends as soon as I joined IISWBM. We are 8 of us and everyone is unique in his/her own way.I really enjoy my time with them in college which makes the long 2 hrs lecture bearable.Its becoz of them that MBA seems like B.Tech.Last but not the least, they bring good tiffin from their house which I really enjoy.

8. BAMBI (Someone will surely understand)

9. Films And Books :- I am a big time movie addict and watched many movies this year.But sadly, few of the many bollywood movies left an impression in my mind.It was great watching 3 Idiots at the end of the year.apart from that it was a pretty ordinary year. Among the hollywood releases this year, AVATAR stole the show.There were a few other good movies as well.Coming to books, I read quite a few books this year which is good. To sir with love and Moth Smoke were good followed by Thousand splendid suns and The reluctant fundamentalist.Hope to read a few more soon.And the worst book which I read this year surely is P.S.I Love You.

10. Best for Last :- I met someone on 2008 and that person became very close to me around September 2008.But as this year comes to an end, I can proudly say that she has become more close to me.The binding force is stronger and it is not becoz we had a ball this year.quiet on the contrary. There were many rough patches this year and it really felt suffocating to lead those days.But when I see that she is still there with a ready smile for me and waits for me as eagerly as she did an year ago,I can strongly say that yes we have grown in our relationship and there are many many happy days ahead.

so these were some of the incidents and events that I distinctly remember.Hope to post soon again.

HR PROCESS

One day while walking down the street a highly successful Human Resources Manager was tragically hit by a bus and she died. Her soul arrived up in heaven where she was met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter himself.

"Welcome to Heaven," said St. Peter. "Before you get settled in though, it seems we have a problem. You see, strangely enough, we've never once had a Human Resources Manager make it this far and we're not really sure what to do with you."

"No problem, just let me in," said the woman.

"Well, I'd like to, but I have higher orders. What we're going to do is let you have a day in Hell and a day in Heaven and then you can choose whichever one you want to spend an eternity in."

"Actually, I think I've made up my mind, I prefer to stay in Heaven", said the woman

"Sorry, we have rules..."

And with that St. Peter put the executive in an elevator and it went down-down-down to hell.

The doors opened and she found herself stepping out onto the putting green of a beautiful golf course. In the distance was a country club and standing in front of her were all her friends - fellow executives that she had worked with and they were well dressed in evening owns and cheering for her. They ran up and kissed her on both cheeks and they talked about old times. They played an excellent round of golf and at night went to the country club where she enjoyed an excellent steak and lobster dinner.

She met the Devil who was actually a really nice guy (kind of cute) and she had a great time telling jokes and dancing. She was having such a good time that before she knew it, it was time to leave. Everybody shook her hand and waved goodbye as she got on the elevator.

The elevator went up-up-up and opened back up at the Pearly Gates and found St. Peter waiting for her.

"Now it's time to spend a day in heaven," he said. So she spent the next 24 hours lounging around on clouds and playing the harp and singing. She had great time and before she knew it her 24 hours were up and St. Peter came and got her.

"So, you've spent a day in hell and you've spent a day in heaven. Now you must choose your eternity,"

The woman paused for a second and then replied, "Well, I never thought I'd say this, I mean, Heaven has been really great and all, but I think I had a better time in Hell."

So St. Peter escorted her to the elevator and again she went down-down-down back to Hell.

When the doors of the elevator opened she found herself standing in a desolate wasteland covered in garbage and filth. She saw her friends were dressed in rags and were picking up the garbage and putting it in sacks.

The Devil came up to her and put his arm around her.

"I don't understand," stammered the woman, "yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and a country club and we ate lobster and we danced and had a great time. Now all there is a wasteland of garbage and all my friends look miserable."

The Devil looked at her smiled and told...

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Yesterday we were recruiting you, Today you are an employee.

SOME REAL FUNNY DEFINITIONS

ADULT: 

A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.

BEAUTY PARLOR: 
A place where women curl up and dye.

CANNIBAL: 
Someone who is fed up with people.

CHICKENS: 
The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.

COMMITTEE:

A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.

DUST: 
Mud with the juice squeezed out.

EGOTIST: 
Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.

HANDKERCHIEF: 
Cold Storage.

INFLATION: 
Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.

MOSQUITO:
An insect that makes you like flies better.

RAISIN: 
Grape with a sunburn.

SECRET: 
Something you tell to one person at a time.

SKELETON: 
A bunch of bones with the person scraped off..

TOOTHACHE:

The pain that drives you to extraction.

TOMORROW: 
One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.

YAWN:  
An honest opinion openly expressed.

WRINKLES: 
Something other people have, similar to my character lines

A LINGERING QUESTION

I still remember that I was in class 2 and we were given an essay to write.The topic was something like this:

"Imagine that you have suddenly been transported to sometime in the future.Write Your account of things you see"

As with any child, these topics where you can just free your thoughts and imaginations,really excited me.So i started writing and I transported myself to 2050(And no it was not a love story).among the many things that i wrote,there were some features which i would like to bring up now:

1]People were wearing a strange device in their ears and were communicating with other people whom i could not see.

2]They just touched a screen and could see their favorite movies or songs.

3]They no longer were reading newspapers but the same touch screen provided them with news from round the world.

Well its not 2050 and all this is a reality now.The first point refers to the blue tooth headset.The second one is one of the many features of an I-Phone and the third one is the use of any mobile with a gps connection.I was such a fool it may seem as so many other features are added to the phone every minute.Some,which we dont even understand or need(PTT).

There can be different perspectives on this.I agree we have had a tremendous technological advancement which is a good thing.But on the other hand this is a solid case where we are giving in to these technological marvels.I am an avid cell phone user,but one question really lingers in my mind.

Why do we feel so insecure without the cell phone??

I have no answer to that but that is a state we have reached ourselves.Are we to be blamed?? I guess so, but did we know when the transition took place???

PERPLEXED EMOTION

Love is a feeling.. just like any other feeling...then why is everyone so enamoured by love? What is it that makes love different from other feelings, and special too??

Every feeling finds a logical conclusion in an action.

Anger... the logical conclusion is hitting out..

Hate.....causing hurt.

Sadness.....crying.

Happiness....laughing.

Lust......sex

fear.......running away..

What now is the logical conclusion of LOVE???

There is none. People believe it to be marriage.. but that is'nt so. Marriage is not the logical conclusion of love, in fact many a times marriage fosters love.

Others think its sex.. but really, there is nt even a remote correlation of love and sex. lust and sex yes.. definitely not love.

Is this then, what makes love different then from other feelings? Because Love is so inconclusive...that once in love one remains in limbo forever..and even years later..the feeling still remains in your subconscious, giving you that special sweet twinge of pain every once in a while.. reminding you of its presence.

RESOLUTIONS

So its the start of a new year.As I switched on my computer and logged in ORKUT on the 1st of January,my scrapbook was filled with greetings and a common query.

Hey wats your New Year RESOLUTION?????

I guess everyone by now knows wat a new year resolution means.For those who still have some doubt,let me put two definitions  for them.

1. The WIKIPEDIA definition:

 A New Year's resolution is a commitment that an individual makes to a project or the reforming of a habit, often a lifestyle change that is generally interpreted as advantageous.

2. MY definition:

 It is a set of impossible goals that an individual sets himself at the start of the new year which slowly fades away and is finally abandoned (Generally).

People start the new year thinking of all that happened to them last year.They enjoy the good moments but laments some of the issues which they could have dealt with better.They decide to learn from their mistakes.And thus they make some resolutions.They give themselves ample time(365 days) and hope to get out of some of their miseries.But alas ! By the middle of the year,they realize that it is too tough for them and they are fine with the little glitches in life.

I have always come across hundreds of people who tell me their New Year resolution at the start of the year.But oddly enough, I have never met a single of them at the end of the year telling me that they have fulfilled their resolution(Have you????).Instead they make new ones next year.Funny,isnt it??

A survey tells us that while 52% of participants in a resolution study were confident of success,only 12% achieved them.I would consider myself extremely lucky if I come across one of them.Still we make resolutions and continue to do so.But why???

The answer is simple.We love to chase dreams and illusions and when once in a while someone succeeds, its the ultimate glory.To do the improbable is always challenging.The reason is same as the reason why we never give up finding life on Mars,finding evidence of ghosts or trying to build a time machine . These things lure us and we always chase them,hoping that someday we achieve them.

Lastly I have only one thing to say to all the people who will make resolutions this new year.This is a quote from a 20th century new year resolution postcard:

                                    Resolve to renew all your old resolves,

                                    And add a few that are new.

                                    Resolve to keep them as long as you can,

                                    What more can a poor man do.

Ohhhhh!!!!And if you are wondering what are my new year resolutions,here it goes:

1. Loose weight.

2. Be more active.

Anyone who knows me will surely tell you all that i am abiding by my definition of RESOLUTIONS.